Through Your Eyes

I was beautiful
I was loved
I was safe

Your words embraced
my soul making
it shine as
brightly as
the sun.

I was a precious treasure
beyond all price.
I felt invincible
shielded against
the darkness

Your love was the salve
lessening my pain.

Your melodic voice awoke
schoolgirl delights
I had no idea existed.

Foreign and wondrous
was this glorious love to
my heart.
Unexpected innocence
gave rise to your surprise.

You were so gentle,
loving, protective, and
patient. You were my
champion, my prince,
my darling man.

Darkness lurked
in the shadows of
which we spoke.
Vows of everlasting love
beyond this broken creation
were generously lavished
upon one another.

Oh God, how I prayed that you
would be the one to say good bye
to me but that wasn’t meant to be.

I yearn to hear your words,
see your gaze, and feel the
humble power of your love
within me once more.

Time has become meaningless.
Gazing into your eyes,
hungering to taste your lips
the warmth of your breath
whispering soft words of love
into my soul sending
burning chills throughout
every cell.

Embrace me and I will
lose myself in your
world, forevermore.

Frustration plagued you,
for you thought
you had given nothing.
Oh my darling, sweet prince
you healed my heart
and completed my soul.
What greater gift can a
man provide a woman?

The air I breathe was
once yours. Water that
washes me anew once
once caressed your being.
Winds stroke my cheek
once provided you comfort
on hot afternoons.

You are all around me. You are now
a part of my being. You are the very
air that I breathe so why, my darling,
do I feel so alone? Why do I feel as if
I am adrift upon an iceberg in a raging
frigid sea? Why does the memory of
your sweet voice feel like icy
splinters pelting my flesh?
Why did it have to be you
instead of me?

I liked the person you
saw when you looked
upon me. I liked being
truly happy for the first
time in my existence.
Through your eyes, life
was no longer a burden
but a gift.

Through your eyes, I found
myself eagerly
contemplating a future.

Through your eyes I
saw the very best me
I could ever be.

I love you Ajay, my Prince
among men. You were my
soul mate and I will always
cherish the time we were given.

Pure selfishness requires more,
for I want you here in my arms.
I want to caress your brow
and wash your face with my kisses.

Tightly to my breasts would
I hold you so death could not steal you.
Your eyes would become heavy
as the beat of my heart lulled
you into a deep sleep.
Your eyes are brimming.
My own are overflowing
creating streamlets of sorrow.

Softly my lips graze your eyelids
giving them permission
to close and find rest.
My lips quiver as they find yours,
I linger there tasting your sweetness.

I would beg you to take
whatever breath and life
I have within me.
My lips are on fire in contrast to
your cooling flesh.
Please, do not leave me my prince.
Please stay or take me with you,
for I cannot stand the thought
of becoming invisible again. I liked the
way you saw me.

Through your eyes,
my soul awakened
becoming what it
was created to be.

I miss you Ajay,
my beloved,

To All Whose Primary Language is NOT English

To All the Wonderful Beautiful People whose first language is not English,

I want to take this opportunity to apologize for my ignorance. As I meet more and more people around the world via WP, I realize how hopelessly inadequate my knowledge of the world’s languages truly is. I have come to the horrible realization that I am the fulfillment of the “ugly American” needing others to speak or write in English in order for me to interact with them. I understand some Spanish but, to my severe shame, I have allowed my learning in that one language to lapse. I could not even keep up on one other language and many of you know several. I highly respect and admire each of you and feel honored beyond words when you respond to my posts in English, for not only have you taken the time to read my post but you have learned my language. I am sorely ashamed that most of Americans, including myself, do not bother learning a second language. I humbly apologize for not only my ignorance but also for my fellow Americans.

You are all such wonderful people and I am blessed to know and interact with each and everyone of you! How I wish I could interact with you in your mother tongue. Even the man who stole my heart had to forgive this lapse in my education. I hungered so deeply speak with him in his own language but in his usual generous, loving, forgiving way he tried to assure me that he loved me regardless of my lack of ability to speak his birth language. My WP family is the only way I can still share memories of him and enjoy the outpouring of love and respect all of you had for the greatest man I have ever known.

So, please know that if I do not respond to your posts but I have “liked” them that I would leave a response but I feel ignorant if I cannot respond to you in your language. When I “like” a post, it is truly how I feel and not because you have visited my blog. Thank you all for all your hard work and your captivating thoughts, pictures, words, music, artwork and all other unique ways you choose to express yourselves. Thank you from the bottom of my heart and please forgive me for my ignorance.

In Great Respect,




Standing before your
creator after you
breathe your last
He will ask…

“What did you do with
all I had given you?”

I was sickly all my life!
From childhood my body
betrayed me, twisting,
burning, paining!

Get up, I did.

I grew up in poverty
knowing the taste of hunger
and ridicule.

Get up, I did.

I am a product of a
broken family.
Divorced parents
embittered by love lost.

Get up, I did.

My innocence was stolen
by those meant to
protect me
from the monsters
that lurk in the night.

Get up, I did.

I was bullied all
throughout school.
I was a “retard” because
I had dyslexia and went
to special Ed. classes.
I was introverted
fat, poor, and from a
broken home.
My tormentors were

Get up, I did.

I was the caretaker for
my disabled mother
for 37 years giving
up my mobile years.

Get up, I did.

I followed society’s rules
and went to school
working two jobs but
continue to live
in poverty.

Get up, I did.

You do not have enough
faith so God will not
heal you from your
sickness, I was told
by the church and Christians

Get up, I did.

Accusations and persecutions
for standing up for what is
right, defending others
protecting others cost
me my profession.

Get up, I did.

Obesity and disability made
me a target for socially
sanctioned torture.

Get up, I did.

Uterine pre-cancer
took my dreams of
having a child and
crushed them.
Leaving behind the
unbearable weight
of empty arms.

Get up, I did.

Finally earning a masters
degree but ending up
living on disability, for
my body has finally
worn out after 40 years.
I land back below
the line of poverty.

Get up, I did.

Finding an unexpected
and unsought love
freed my heart and soul.
The only happiness I have
ever known and I am
eternally grateful but
death stole him from me.

Get up, I am.

Every life has hardships.
Every life has heartaches.
Every life has challenges.
You can use them as valid
excuses to stay stuck
where you are in
misery and depression.

Get up, take the next step
so you can stand before your
creator and say,
“My Father Creator, I did all
that you asked. I helped
as many as I could with all
that I was given.”

“Well Done, Good and Faithful Servant,
You Offered Me No Excuses.”

Strength within Loss

Predawn air saturated
with tiny water droplets
hang about my frame.

Cool moisture dances upon
my skin sending a chill
throughout my body.

The moon sets as the
sun awakens providing
an ethereal pale silver and
yellow glow all about me.

Inhaling deeply, I taste the
moisture upon my tongue and
I know this is part of you.

I close my eyes allowing the
sounds of the new day to awaken
my soul. Song birds signal to
all of creation; begin the
intricate dance.

I smile, hearing your words
whisper to my soul.
“Ohh, my dear how beautiful
this is, how magnificent!”

Your strong, loving arms encircle
my waist as you deliver tender
kisses to my neck and shoulder.
Our fingers interlace and I
feel your lifeblood coursing
through the steady thrum
of your pulse.

The serenade of birds
is joined by
the life sounds of
the woodland creatures.

The sun commands
the withdrawal of
the moisture laden
charging it with
warmth. A shiver
makes my body tremble
as the transition
from night to day begins.

My beloved moves his hands
to gently cup my breasts.
He speaks soft words of love
as the wind delivers
each to my ear. I grasp
his embrace with intensity
as if my strength could
command him to stay.

Leaning into him, I borrow
his strength and he gently nuzzles
my neck. It is fruitless
but I must ask…as I do
every morning…

“Beloved, please stay…
hold me tightly,
never let me go
or let me come
with you.”

Our fingers interlace
with greater intensity.
A tear escapes
traveling a well worn path.

“My darling, my beloved, I dwell in
your beautiful heart and linger in your
sweet memories.” His words
are carried on the breeze.
Kissing my tear away he whispers,
“I hunger to taste your lips,
to feel my body against yours.
Please do not cry, beloved.
You must be strong until
we can be together
once more. “

The heat of the sun
chases away the wispy
clouds encircling my body.
As its rays traveled up my body
his embrace weakened until
his last whisper settled upon
my heart.
“I love you my darling,

Opening eyes brimming with tears
I will them not to fall. I must be strong
, for the love of my sweet prince
fills my heart. I will do my best
to honor your memory through my
love and compassion toward others.

I will keep fighting against the night
and your love will be my everlasting
shield and sword. I will not fall to
he who would delight at my

Nay, I will
win this day and the next
and then the one after that
until there is no more suffering
and pain in this broken creation.

To my last breath,
until we hold one another
I will be strong.

Reconnecting with the Creator

Peaks and Valleys


Lay back, rest in my arms. I use a cool cloth to dab the heat and exhaustion from your brow, along your face, over your lips. Nothing else, just holding you and telling you how much I love you as I tickle your face with very light traces of my fingers. My back rests against the shade tree and you sit casually between my legs with your head resting between my breasts. We both are wearing light gauze shifts that gleam brightly in the evening sun.

“Rest, my love. Look around at all our God has gifted us in this one moment of time and just enjoy every sensation that discovery allows you. Think upon the eternal and not upon the present. See the slivers of paradise we have been gifted.” I whisper ever so slightly in your ear as I continue to wipe your hot flesh with a…

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